ALTHOUGHI LIKE A GOOD GEORGE W. BUSH JOKEAS MUCH AS THE NEXT GUY, SOME OF THEM SEEM GRATUITOUS AND MEAN-SPIRITED. from McSweeneys

Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?
A: I'm not sure, but if the answer is "A cure for Parkinson's disease," then Bush will try to stop scientists from breeding them. Because he likes it when people get Parkinson's.

Shiny, Pointy, and Tall: Pictures of people taking pictures of the Chrysler Building

2005 U.S. Air Guitar Championships. (US? Does the winner go to the internationals?)
If I entered, I'd break an air-string and stop the song short. Don't steal this idea. Mine.

Jive user complaints mounting: I've gotta fix this ugly page.

Science has applied its considerable resources to the vexxing problem of VTL. Result: Humankind advances with advent of the backless thong. Sisqo books studio time in anticipation of the coming Second Wave Booty Hitz movement.

[Security via Injunction] Rather than distributing patches to address flaws, Cisco calls in the lawyers. Yeahhhh... this oughta work just fine for them.

Indigenous Bolivian Female Pro Wrestling. They're gonna need an ESPN-3

Another high-profile mention of the Futuro Home (NYTimes). The fan-site has some good info as well.

The Daily Jive doesn't condone crank calls, but The Daily Jive condones each and every crank call, especially if they're recorded and posted on the internet for posterity. Our lawyers tell us that like streaking, it's pretty much a victimless crime, so it's A-OK. This gold nugget from Bad-Boys manages to enrage a poor phone-answerer, all with sampled Jack Nicholson quotes from "A Few Good Men".

I've been having some problems with blogger server settings over the past few weeks. Hopefully everything is fixed. The puke green look is temporary.

Antville has literally thousands of music videos you won't find anywhere else. Highly recommended.

Every album recorded by the thoroughly crazy Brian Jonestown Massacre is available for free on their website in Ogg Vorbis format. You'll want DBPowerAMP (also free) to convert to mp3.

Bush using Federal agencies to stifle political dissent. (SFGate)
Law Agencies are being used to monitor legal activity. Another goosestep in Bush's march to fascism.

The FBI has collected at least 3,500 pages of internal documents in the last several years on a handful of civil rights and anti-war protest groups in what the groups charge is an attempt to stifle political opposition to the Bush administration.

Cooter ain't crazy about the Dukes

Video Saturday at the jive:

"This is rocknroll"
Casio-thing mini-keyboard drum sounds demo by a rockin asian guy. (wmv)
All snarkiness aside, the guy pretty good.

And this is easily the most impressive rollerblade stunt I've ever seen.

Afroninja needs practice (Quicktime, short)

Rolling Stone article on the Long Emergency: Peak Oil and what changes it will bring.

Some "cornucopians" claim that the Earth has something like a creamy nougat center of "abiotic" oil that will naturally replenish the great oil fields of the world. The facts speak differently. There has been no replacement whatsoever of oil already extracted from the fields of America or any other place.
Now we are faced with the global oil-production peak. The best estimates of when this will actually happen have been somewhere between now and 2010. In 2004, however, after demand from burgeoning China and India shot up, and revelations that Shell Oil wildly misstated its reserves, and Saudi Arabia proved incapable of goosing up its production despite promises to do so, the most knowledgeable experts revised their predictions and now concur that 2005 is apt to be the year of all-time global peak production.

It will change everything about how we live.

The ACLU gives a really good warning about the dangers of national ID and pervasive info surveillance, as seen through a pizza delivery call (flash)

Let the coverup for official Whitehouse Liar Karl Rove begin!
Who dares assail lt the teflon coated fortress of the bejowelled menace?! Mwahahaha!!!!!

MR. McCLELLAN: And if you will recall, I said that as part of helping the investigators move forward on the investigation we're not going to get into commenting on it. That was something I stated back near that time, as well.

Q Scott, I mean, just -- I mean, this is ridiculous. The notion that you're going to stand before us after having commented with that level of detail and tell people watching this that somehow you decided not to talk. You've got a public record out there. Do you stand by your remarks from that podium, or not?

MR. McCLELLAN: And again, David, I'm well aware, like you, of what was previously said, and I will be glad to talk about it at the appropriate time. The appropriate time is when the investigation --

Q Why are you choosing when it's appropriate and when it's inappropriate?

MR. McCLELLAN: If you'll let me finish --

Q No, you're not finishing -- you're not saying anything. You stood at that podium and said that Karl Rove was not involved. And now we find out that he spoke out about Joseph Wilson's wife. So don't you owe the American public a fuller explanation? Was he involved, or was he not? Because, contrary to what you told the American people, he did, indeed, talk about his wife, didn't he?

If you don't laugh at Pauly Shore, he'll pay you money. Not the first unwise career move you've made, buuuuddddy.

How did I miss this article on picking Masterlocks? Brilliant.

A handy little gif web button maker that I'll definitely use when I get around to redesigning the Jive.

The mechatronic guitar rocks itself with 6 picks and 23 fingertips. (hackaday)

Interactive drama Facade released for free download. Artwork looks lousy, and we're supposed to empathise with a guy named Trip? Trip?! It's getting good mentions, anyway.

Don't embarrass yourself and forget this year has a leap second

A small gallery of wooden mechanical automata. Another great gallery featuring an all-Sumo cast of automatons.

Tom Haney has some movies of his contraptions at the bottom of his page.

Thai fishermen pull up a 645 pound catfish.
You won't see it on Iron Chef. Already eaten.

A club video of Wilco doing a respectable cover of Captain and Tenille's 'Love Will Keep us Together'. (at least until the 'I will!' part).

Awwwww shit! I'm gonna get sooo ghillied up this winter. It's swankness is only surpassed by its camobility, so you suckers won't even see me to heap congrats. (thx memepool)

Bush, putting it bluntly, puts the (American) economy over the worlds environmental concerns.
(Guardian, UK transcript from ITV1 "Tonight" interview)

TONIGHT: But pollution in this country has increased amazingly since 1992.
PRESIDENT BUSH: That is a totally inaccurate statement.
TONIGHT: It's a UN figure.
PRESIDENT BUSH: Well, I just beg to differ with every figure you've got.

Sigh.

A nice piece on corpulent man-tit Karl Rove
And yet this rice cake in a suit has the audacity to stand at a podium in this gutsy city and say, "I don't know about you, but moderation and restraint is not what I felt when I watched the twin towers crumble to the ground."
No, what chicken hawk Rove, who avoided the draft during Vietnam, saw was a Bush reelection campaign commercial.
And where did our fearless conservative leaders go on or after 9/11?
Let's see: Bush flew to Omaha! Cheney hid in a hole, like Saddam Hussein. And Karl Rove cooked up a Bush campaign commercial visit to Ground Zero three days after the attack, when the coast was clear.

How long are we going to put up with this idiot? He's right about Dems being weaklings: They're busy asking for apologies (?!) while the nightcrawler is playing fast and loose with people's lives and getting away with it. Where's the backbone? Bring this clown up on charges.

MuchMusic lists the 100 best pop songs of all time for free wma download
(The Jive's editorial board disagrees with MuchMusic)