Thomas the NJ Transit Train (McSweeneys)
Thomas is a passenger train who works on the Northeast Corridor Line, shuttling commuters between New York City and Trenton. One day, in the Trenton station, Thomas sees two passengers quarreling. It appears to be a Trenton man and a woman from the city. The man wants her purse bad. He runs away with it, and Thomas speeds up to catch him. After a long chase, the man runs to Centre Street, commonly referred to by the police as "Cocaine Avenue." The Fat Controller tells Thomas to stop immediately and turn around. It isn't worth going into that area for one purse. Thomas goes back to the city, his head hung low. "Guess it should be, 'The World Makes, Trenton Takes,'" thinks Thomas.